Celebrity chef praises quick easy ‘10 minute meal’ whilst failing to mention indentured dish pig

Citizens!

To the sound of stomachs rumbling all eyes turned to Zosima. 

Today the old man was responsible for feeding everybody, and in the panic of having forgotten so, he turned to the internet for help. 

‘Quick easy 10 minute meals’ he typed into the search engine, almost immediately being greeted with a wall of countless options. 

Recognising a familiar face he sought salvation in the form of a celebrity chef presenting a video recipe that seemed so simple. 

Optimism quickly turned to furrowed brows, hope transformed to angst, the video was paused and the following cries could be heard emanating from the kitchen:

‘Five ingredients? More like fifteen you lying dog!’ 

‘I need to use four pans? Are you a fool? I’m not cleaning up all that?’ 

‘Unlike you! I don’t have a slave to clean up after me!’

Flustered and red faced, an embarrassed Zosima afterwards told everyone that dinner might be a little later than usual, and that he was now following a different recipe about a man feeding five hundred fishermen with bread and fish.