Bouldering to running to cycling: the evolution of a boring corporate’s personality

Citizens!

A new scientific study has presented startling revelations about the evolution of a white collar worker’s personality. 

In this month’s edition of the journal Au Naturel, scientists discovered a common trend in how corporate workers attempt to develop a personality. 

The cycle commences with an interest in bouldering, which fades as the participant starts to resemble Johnny Bravo, and the allure of spending countless hours in an indoor gymnasium within an industrial estate fades. 

Next an interest in running develops, initially in the form of road running but some participants were shown to pursue trail running instead. Interestingly, a small segment of the study group also diverged into Hyrox. 

When their joints started to ache in both their legs and arms, the next stage progressed to cycling. Typically this correlated with older age, a higher amount of disposable income and the need for low impact activity. Participants still seeking adventure took to mountain biking, albeit with electric assistance, though most of the study group were shown to develop an interest in lycra, energy gels and road bikes around this point.

Scientists noted that such pursuits enabled easier water cooler chats and had positive health effects. They also commented that competitive activities could be both beneficial but also problematic for team cohesion - Pseudo Professor Zosima for example, has taken to claiming every Strava segment in Lithgow with the aid of his e-bike much to the chagrin of Sammy Du Beaver. 

Scientists next intend to study the correlation between Friday night beers and the occurrence of white line fever.