Ruffian with loudspeaker on phone subjects entire quiet carriage to asinine podcast and reels

Citizens, 

I write to report about how our peaceful contemplative journey out of Sydney in the quiet carriage this evening was rudely disturbed by a total ruffian. Despite the numerous visible stickers along with announcements highlighting the location of several quiet carriages on the train, our outlandishly inconsiderate companion proceeded to subject us to the ramblings at maximum volume of some Ponzi scheme podcast. 

Then when their minute attention span had elapsed, they followed with several minutes of short burst clips containing every possible irritating sound known to man, ranging from nails on chalk boards to animal screeches. If this torture wasn’t enough, afterwards they then embarked on a lengthy one sided phone call detailing their father’s kidney problems among much else to everyone within earshot. 

Who knew it was possible to talk so much. 

With each stop our courage cautiously climbed, maybe one of us would make a stand, yet our true saviour came in the form of a middle aged woman, who with a confident register simply said with total conviction along with a finger pointing to a sticker: ‘Excuse me, this is a quiet carriage!’

Our glassy eyed gormless oppressor mumbled something contrite in reply. 

Great joys quietly emanated in our hearts towards our saviour, who had returned the serenity of common courtesy. 

Thus, here is what we would do if in power: Violators of the sanctity of the quiet carriage would be forced to spend an hour in a locked room with Karl Stefanovic and Kyle Sandilands to learn the sacredness of silence and being respectful to others.

Yours truly, Pseudo Professor Zosima