Albanese to introduce the ‘blue rinse’ ritual for new parliamentarians in attempt to appeal to working class voters

‘Quick Penny! Lock the door! Hahahaha,’ Albanese squeals in delight from the lawn of Parliament House.

‘Let me out! Anthony this isn’t funny,’ comes a plaintive cry intermixed with futile fists banging on the inside of the now locked door. 

‘Good work Penny, our hands are now washed clean,’ Albanese says with that wry grin and a chuckle.

‘Let me out, let me out, somebody please!’ comes further pleas of increasing desperation. 

‘Stop being so difficult, Kara. Now everybody, Tony, Ed, Michelle, Tanya. One, two, three!’ 

In several quick turns the portaloo flips over end on end to the sounds of screams inside and hysterical laughter outside. 

Labor insiders have alerted us that this new ‘initiation ritual’ is their attempt to appeal to working class voters. 

Other parties have similar acts, for example: new National members have to sing the entire catalogue of Slim Dusty, Liberal neophytes buy an investment property, Green novices write a self-aggrandising piece in the Ga, One Nation tyros make their first high profile dogwhistle in Parliament, and the Teals are forced to read The Big Teal aloud from start to finish.  

At the Yerunda Party for People we have the Lithgow Lapdance, involving a new member and a field of stinging nettles, Pseudo Professor Zosima still hasn’t gotten rid of the rash from it.